Ladies And Gentlemen This Is Your Pilot Speaking

. . . It seems we forgot one passenger.

Imagine that. An airline forgetting a passenger.

Oh sure . . . it happens all the time . . . planes leave without all the passengers.

. . . It happens

But this case is a little different . . .

. . . Yes the airline forgot the passenger

. . .

. . .

. . . Inside the plane.

That's right folks and airline forgot the passenger inside the plane.

A United Express flight crew forgot a sleeping Ginger McGuire inside the plane when it arrived in Philadelphia from Washington D.C.

Apparently Ms. McGuire fell asleep during the flight and no one thought to wake her up when the plane landed.

She was able to get out hours later when the cleaning crew came in.

Erm ok. I'm sure there are a number of you who will say its her fault because she fell asleep.

You may even ask how she did not feel the people moving about when they disembarked.

And I'm sure you're all wondering how come she did not call 911 when she found out she couldn't get out.

(To be honest I wonder about those things too. I mean I fall asleep as well when I'm on a plane because I hate flying so it's sort of a defense mechanism for me but at least I wake up when the plane lands because the people are moving about. As for calling 911 we're not sure if she had a cell phone so we can't really say.)

But that's all beyond the point.

It doesn't matter if she fell asleep or if she should have woken up.

The fact is it is the cabin crew's job to check and make sure nothing is left behind when it's their turn to disembark.

That's standard operating procedure.

So does that mean all the flight attendants had bad eyes to miss a person sleeping in the plane?

How can they miss her?

I mean it's a person for crying out loud.

They have a duty to check and they did not.

That's dereliction of duty.

That's negligence.

They should be held accountable.

The airline - in this case United - should be held accountable.

Because that's just too much. The airlines are already screwing us, the paying passengers, with too many fees, delayed flights, long waiting times and lost luggage - now they're losing passengers?

. . . it's only right.

Fly the friendly skies they say! That was one of United's slogans.

Oh wait I forgot . . .

. . . They were already on the ground.

All Records Must Soon Fall

If you're asking while I am not doing any commentary on the local Philippine scenery all I will say is at the moment I'm sick and tired of it so I'm going abroad for a while.

That being said I guess the saying is true: records ARE meant to be broken.

Although when it comes to oil spills I doubt if anyone wants any record to be broken other than the fastest clean-up ever.

According to U.S. Government estimates the Gulf of Mexico oil leak has already surpassed the Exxon Valdez incident as the biggest oil spill in U.S. history.

When the Exxon Valdez ran aground in Alaska it only (and I use the word lightly) 11 million gallons according to scientist working with the clean-up.

The current oil spill has conservative estimates say spewed out 18 million gallons. And that, my friends, is merely a conservative estimate.

More liberal estimates peg it at almost 40 million gallons which is a lot but still 100 million gallons short when compared to the 1979 explosion of the drilling rig Ixtoc I.

Whoa . . . I don't think in either case it's not something to be proud of. Be it 140 million or 1 gallon it is not a good thing to spill crude oil at a very sensitive environment - especially one that has already taken a beating.

. . . And people wonder why fish prices are going up, there's less fish being caught and more dead fish are found floating or washed ashore.

. . . Why bother. We allow a scientific loop hole for people to kill whales supposedly in the name of science.

See I have a problem with that. Kill one or two whales is fine but to kill hundreds? Every year?

Where's the scientific value in that?

But that's another rant altogether. Let's get back to this one.

Where was the government regulation when you need it?

I guess the Minerals Management Service was not doing it's job what with agency staff members accepted tickets to sports events, lunches and other gifts from oil and gas companies and used government computers to view pornography.

Talk about your cozy relationship with the industry you're suppose to regulate and oversee.

Should heads roll?

Of course but a little too late.

Especially when the environmental catastrophe begins to fully manifest itself.

The sad part is people keep saying that tourism is dead or fishing is dead.

Why doesn't anyone say something about this planet is dead?

Because Nothing Beats A Warm Bum When You're Doing Number 2

It's true. You "go" better when you're not sitting on some cold plastic when your bowels tells you to go.

I can say that from experience and it does wake you up.

That is probably the reason why Argentinian Football Coach Diego Maradona demands to have the E-Bidet which features a heated seat, a warm air blow-dryer and front and rear bidet wands.

Of course why wash when your seat does it for you - and dries you up as well. Put in a recliner and a flat screen TV and you'll never want to leave your bathroom - ever.

(Calling Tim Taylor of Tool Time: Let's power er up)

But that's not the only reason why Argentina leads the way in World Cup hotel demands.

They also want 14 different salads during every meal along with 10 hot dishes a day.

Well the dishes are easy enough - they only want 10 heated every day so a few minutes in the microwave and you have hot dishes.

Hehehehe . . . Ok maybe it's not that funny but seriously 14 different salads? I can't even get more than 5 if that.

I guess the Argentinian team love their greens.

I am so down with the PlayStation consoles and the ice cream 24/7 though.

Add chips and we're rocking . . .

. . . while we're each sitting on our own warm E-bidet.

/--------------------------------------------------/

Note: I apologize for offending anyone - especially Argentinians. It's just in good fun.

North Korean Tightrope - And Diplomacy Is About To Fall

Brinkmanship seems to be key to North Korea's diplomatic stance. Whenever it wants concessions it pushes the "we are insane" button, test flies a few missiles and proudly proclaim that everyone is out to get them.

Well . . . DUH . . . if you threaten to destroy your neighbor and everyone else within the immediate vicinity of course everyone will be out to get you.

The US has been called an international bully and in many cases it has been rightly so.

But when it comes to the Korean problem this time it's North Korea that's the bully.

Why?

Because if they don't get what they want they threaten an escalation to war and the willingness to use nuclear weapons.

Where's Nixon when you need him. What's needed is someone to just shut up the sissy diplomacy stuff and say out right if you don't peace up we will nuke you to oblivion.

But of course it won't do since we are a civil world so it all has to be done civilly even when the other party isn't.

And now we have the question of what to do with North Korea as a result of the findings of the international group of investigators who found conclusive proof that it was North Korea which blew up a South Korean naval vessel that killed a lot of sailors.

Retaliation is acceptable for this is an act of aggression that goes against the truce that both Koreas entered into to end the Korean conflict.

And it was obviously done by the North Koreans.

I admire the restraint of the South Koreans but there will come a time when "enough-is-enough" and more forcefull action is required.

Do we really need for a lot more to die through these "incidents" before action is required.

Hell the world acted and invaded Iraq when there was no cause to and when no cause was found even after the invasion.

SO why not now when there is cause and the evidence is right there. And isn't North Korea more of a threat than Iraq.

Walking the diplomatic tightrope is all well and good but the strain is showing and it won't be long before the fall.

Let's hope it never gets a chance to get there.